Where'd ya go?

Hey gang! I know it's been a long time. I've just been hiding away. Lately, I've been caught up with life and thinking of things that aren't normal to think about. I do want to let a lot of you know that you may think you know who I am. Reality is nobody really knows who I am. I mean some of you may figure it's the girl who puts a face on for me. The woman who has been advertising for me is just my DJ. Her name is DJ Amblissity. But the person behind the blogs is someone completely different.

 She was at Metro PCS the other day and she heard this song called Faded by Alan Walker. She gave me this song to listen to. She's my DJ. I only listen to the music she hands me because she has variety. I like variety. I'm not one to listen to one thing only. I don't like to stick to the status quo. I love switching it up and reading through the book till the end. I hate judging people because everyone's living a different world. Many people have been asking my girl where has Amblissity been. She figured this was a great way to make a small comeback. Nothing to major. So I'm back for a blog. She had to get more variety of songs for me to have a major comeback. We have been sitting down and have been thinking out loud. Yes as the song goes. Now I know my rights and I know the rights of songs. I don't own any of the songs I post. I can't stress that enough.

 I've just been having doubt in wether coming out about who I truly am or not. I don't want the famousy. I just want to be like a mini Tyler Perry but with music as my script. If that makes any sense. My life has been stressful. I know that all last week as I work my 3rd shift job. All I do is sit and cry. I watch movies and listen to music. But I just cry. Where do our lives go from now into the future. Nobody truly knows what tomorrow holds. We try and hold onto the past and make that an excuse for a future. I mean I know tons of people who do so. I've met a good amount of people in my long life to know that we can't expect it. Yet it just happens. It depends on who is surrounded by you, who you let encourage you, and whether you let others influence you or you just influence yourself. I feel that it's best to keep my identity hidden because on the outside and inside I'm truly hideous. Most women feel fat, stupid, dumb, maybe even ugly. But that's because we judge ourselves by the way others look at us. And no I don't mean family. They're different because they watch you grow up. In some cases, such as my DJ, some if not most are adopted into a family who don't want you and then from there on out you question your mortales. As for me, I'm always questioning my choices.

 Just last week I had to choose between two choices at work. Well I couldn't make up my mind, so I got screwed over with the best choice because I didn't get full details. That was my fault for not asking though. Oh well all I can do is just keep trying my best. I mean that's what most of us do right? Think about our decisions we made when it's to late. As we lye in bed at night and continuously go over our day in our head and think how could this have went better. Maybe even how the day went better and how can we make the next one even greater. 

 I mean in my long life the choices I've made have been based on the soul fact of how I was raised and you know like my DJ, I just want my future to look brighter than my past. Now most of you are reading this and thinking I know that this isn't someone else I know who this is. But let me ask you this...? Can't some people have similar backgrounds, and not be the same person? 

 Penny for thoughts...? If you're an active reader go on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or even Snapchat. Then post your penny for thoughts. One of my favorite funny shows is Impractical Jokers who are on tour. I tried to win tickets. But I couldn't get them. But hey that's just my luck. They did an episode of "Penny for Thoughts" in a park. #shoutouttoimpracticaljokers 

  As for me Penny for thoughts... I am trying my hardest to put on a smile for every person I meet. I try to make their days better than my own. My life is suffering doesn't mean yours has to too. So I need a pick me up but I don't know what that would be. Let me know what you think. Make sure to use #amblissity101 

 Now I have been keeping up with this app called Tik Tok. I want to give a major shoutout to Conor who sings in the band TheRomanticEra. If you have a chance please check them out. I think that it will be totally worth it. I've been keeping up with Conor for the past few weeks and he's been giving me shoutouts. Now it's his turn. So yes definitely check them out. Also he wrote an original the other day and it sounded incredible. But he didn't have a title. But that's okay, because it's hard to find titles these days considering a lot of the good ones are taken. This is why titles are so long because the short ones were taken.

 One more thing. I don't think of these blogs before hand. I just quietly think to myself and write. I stay inside my brain, because my mouth says more stupid things than my brain does. I don't even feel confident in my body. I'd rather just sleep 24/7. My dreams are scary sometimes, but every once in awhile they are happy. More scary but that's quite alright. I'd rather live inside a nightmare than in the real world where everybody judges a book by it's cover just to fit in. Now I know there are some people out there who don't judge books by their cover, they are the ones who are more precious. They are the ones who are meant to be living in this world and they are the ones who have the right to be treated better than most people who are snarky, judgy, and all about the money and fame. As for me I could care less about money. I prefer this world to be free. I feel it'd be a bit better of a world. Because we wouldn't have others in it to judge us for doing the things we want to do our own way. 

 I try my hardest to be strong for others around me who are going through what I'm going through. But reality is I'm a hypocrite. Like most people. Aka my haters and people who can't keep my name outta their mouth no matter how vulgar. You do know when people eventually talk smack about you. It's one of two situations. Either you once were nice to them or you just never really got to know who they were. Either way it's a back and forth game. This world we all come into.  It's just the way we grow up and how we make an effect in this world. 

 Choices come and go. Either you win or lose. There's only two versions in this world. Black or white; Right or Wrong; Perfect or imperfect; Green grass or dull grass. There's really no third option unless you get yourself stuck in a shi**y situation. 

 Well I know for a fact this blog was all over the place today. But my goal is to be a writer. I just need an opportunity to swing my way, so I have that chance to become a greater mind and a better writer. I eventually want to go to school for writing. But like that day will ever happen. I'm just not that lucky. I have to admit some people can't keep up with my blogs. I have gotten hate on my blogs, but I don't care. It's my mind, my writing, my world. Don't like it? Then don't enter the world of Amblissity. Cause oh no your mind is no longer yours cause your reading what someone else wrote. Facts. Writing facts is my mind. So welcome new comers! If you haven't been reading my blog your loss. I have a great DJ, and there are great songs out there that not everybody is getting the chance. I know I'm one of many. 

 So thank you DJ Amblissity for helping me come out a little bit. Thank you for being my face, because I'm scared to come out about who I truly am. So shout out to you and all of my fellow bloggers. As for the new comers. Enjoy the reading the mind of another mind blogger. 

 As always check out the song Faded by Alan Walker. Until next time, Here's to hoping!

Signing off for now...

-DJ Amblissity

P.S. Someone asked my DJ what does Amblissity mean to her. She answered with this and I quote (which I couldn't agree more with)... "Amblissity to me means that I'm just a mind in a body trying to survive this world through movies and music."

So thanks girl. That's exactly what Amblissity means to me!