One Guy...

Hey Gang, What is up! Sorry it's been along time since I wrote any blogs. I've been so busy since my last post plus I haven't had any inspiration, but tonight has hit me hard. I've moved since last time I posted. I got a new job since Steak N Shake. Man do I ever regret leaving there. I don't know why, but I had the worst attitude there. I made alot of bad decisions while I was there. I regret all of them. I talked behind someone's back and they helped me when no one else did. To this day I feel like a big, pardon my language, but a bitch. I hate myself. I did all of these things because of one guy. One guy who helped me out from a family so sick and twisted that it wasn't even funny. I fell deep into this live stage, and all for what? A guy? I fell madly in love with him. Then I gave up so much to be with, and I'm not happy. I'm only dealing with this guy because nobody else will. I literally mean nobody. If you are here from my life and are reading this. Then maybe you shouldn't be here if you don't like the truth. I hate where I'm currently at in my life. I'm only working two maybe three days a week. Everything for me is expired. I'm just being lazy about all of my life. Tonight I realized that nothing is going to come to me if I don't start chasing after it. Because my mood is so out there tonight my pick of music is Disturbed. I've been listening to this all night. I've been listening to Disturbed since I was 7. I was obsessed through High school when I was feeling down, mad, pissed off, or even just upset. Which in high school for me was all the time. I could never have a happy moment. In fact the only happy memory I remember from high school was my 10th grade homecoming. I was thin, I was so pretty. Since then I've just became ugly. Honestly I don't even recognize myself anymore. I hate who I've become. I'm trying to fix me, but I can't because I'm so forgivable. I've always been so forgivable. I need some sort of Justice in my life. Ive never had a win. I mean I guess that's why I've become so lazy. Today I have an interview, and I'm hoping they can help me get on my feet. I'm tired of living the way I am. As of this moment, this blog right here. If you are here from my past. I'm sorry, if I lied to you, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. Whatever I did. I'm sorry. I know what I did to you and I know what I put you through. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I know it's to late for me, and I'm sorry. The truth is I had a huge crush and I ruined it. He was this amazing guy and I turned him down because I couldn't let go of my past. At this point he's probably already taken. I can't move on because I care to much, but I'm hoping one day that all changes. I can't keep running around in circles. That's literally all my life is right now. So this blog is basically about that one guy and how my life is spinning in one circle because I can't move on. I know so many people are gonna get mad at me about this blog, but I'm sorry this is how I feel. It's how I've felt for a long time. Well since around the time I started blogging to be honest. So many people though are gonna be happy to hear that I'm blogging again. Sorry it's been so long. I've been on the app Tiktok, which is so much fun btw. I also started YouTube videos, but nothing has started taking off yet because I haven't been consistent, yet tonight as I had said, I got a swift kick in the butt. Let's just say a light switched. So this is all I got for you guys tonight. I hope you enjoyed this blog. Music choice if your mad, upset, depressed, or any other mad emotions. Disturbed is for you. They do swear so fair warning children. As for the rest of you. Enjoy. I'm out of here.

Also, if you get the chance be sure to check out Dead to Me on Netflix, it's so good and gave me a big swift kick in the butt too. It's amazing. I really pulls you in. 

 Today is going to be the day of more productive for me. I'm hoping to start my life the way I want it today, and not following it in someone else's shadow, or footsteps. Heck guys it's gonna be a new freaking decade. It's time to start a new evaluation! It's time for me to start making real history! So as always here's to hoping 🤞. Be sure to check out some Disturbed. Signing off until next time! -DJ Amblissity 🤑🤞 PS. If you got this far and download Tiktok 😂, be sure to add #whodatheather and notahobo. Trust me you'll enjoy their content. As always I'm #amblissity!